The Notes and the Author's Ramblings ❤❤❤

st@rt>> I think, there is something wrong somewhere. Something which is not really right here. Really, I dont know how to describe this feeling, it's indeed a very sensitive issue

I have a feeling I have this eager in me of throwing my lappie on d floor, step on it, bang it to d wall, throwing all papers on the floor, throw everything outside d office and RUN AWAY

who could understands? noone m born this way, this is my life, no more complains

the feeling, it's like.. been betrayed, been stabbed death frm behind n yet I still don't know what had happened been ignored aside like a trash As always, once I got this anger feeling, my body trying to bully me more, this useless body trying to harm me even more end

ST@rt>> Obviously, this post gonna be something like celebration, a birthday celebration! IT'S STACEY HEY'S BIRTHDAY!! We had so much fun today, it's been like ages since my last k session with both ladies. I think the last time was during the tea pot pose session. Stacey dedicated this song to both of us, which me n Sheena kinda agree (I think), which all of us burst into laughter especially the first sentence: 第一次見面看你不太順眼　 di yi ci jian mian kan ni bu tai shun yan　 誰知道後來關係那麼密切 shui zhi dao hou lai guan xi na mo mi qie 我們一個像夏天一個像秋天　 wo men yi ge xiang xia tian yi ge xiang qiu tian　 卻總能把冬天變成了春天 que zong neng ba dong tian bian cheng le chun tian 你拖我離開一場愛的風雪　 ni tuo wo li kai yi chang ai de feng xue　 我揹你逃出一次夢的斷裂 wo bei ni tao chu yi ci meng de duan lie 遇見一個人然後生命全改變　 yu jian yi ge ren ran hou sheng ming quan gai bian　 原來不是戀愛才有的情節 yuan lai bu shi lian ai cai you de qing jie 如果不是你　我不會相信　 ru guo bu shi ni　wo bu hui xiang xin　 朋友比情人還死心塌地 peng y

st@rt>> Always, wanted to take a break, Always, wanted to take everything as easy as possible, Always, wanted to think as simple as possible, Always, wanted to be good to everyone, Always, wanted to keep silent, Always, wanted to open my heart, Always, wanted this n that But things seems to take me granted, till now, I still couldn't figure out what had happened? Or why things get complicated. Can I turn back time? Should I go back to where I belong? Should I? In certain situations, sometimes, I felt m being so selfish, like a fool, angry and care over things which is totally beyond my control. If I change all these, will it be good? That's d question end

ST@rt>> m so bad tempered! y ha! Can even scold someone I don't know in my dream!! wth! arghhhhhhh!!! ok, I promise I'll change for good sake, ok? but buy me some fattening food to convince me, ok? deal? end

St@rt>> hate it to the max each time I saw it on my news feed, but I chose not to block it frm my viewing pleasure. :) ok, I know m crazy, chi sin, 38, whatever u call it. P/S: M hungryyyyyyyehhh end

st@rt>> Sometimes I dont really understand myself either But, this woman, no she is not a woman yet, this girl, she seems to know what I have been thinking. I do, I really almost did burst into tears when she knew what I felt all this while, when we talked it over the phone yesterday. Yes, I agree with her, m someone who dont share my things to everyone, either work or personal, or mayb I should say, m afraid? I remain silent, as I always believe silence is golden. Though I was being misunderstood for certain things sometimes, I dont defend myself, I will nod and say, ok, that's alright, this will be fine, you will know someday that this is not my fault. I 'locked' myself in my own zone, I have been closing the door all the time, and only open to certain friends when they knock the door. This sounds awful, but this is the truth. m trying to change all this while, but this damn thing just like a ghost within me. The door locked itself since 3yrs ago, and the

start>> Why d hell u brake n accelerate n emergency brake again?! M not married yet!! arghhhh end

start>> This usually d part I hate d most, FLIGHT DELAYED! ok, fine, it's only being delayed for 15mins. so, I'll just wait patiently, ok? D summary of this trip will be: 1) Get yourself tan a bit so that ppl will 'believe' that u been to an island for holiday at least 2) Get to know more friends so that u won't get bored easily 3) Learn to be independent during a holiday alone yourself with a group of someone u don't know 4) Never bring too much things during travel ing alone, u will ended taking ur luggage on ur own, damn, my luggage sibeh heavy lor P/S: My good damn luggage spoilt during the 1st day arriving Phuket, n my luggage working on one wheel now. Thanks to d airports staff 'efficiency'. D good part is I couldn't find a good luggage to replace d current one, let's wait til I back Malaysia P/P/S: Now my dream of getting new luggage come true, I have been looking around new luggages, I mean surveying, now my surveys com

st@rt>> D time on my iPhone shown 12.34am, damn, in fact, Malaysia's time is actually 01.34am instead! ok, m getting confused obviously, but who d hell cares when m here supposing to get relax and enjoy to d fullest! LOL M currently listening to Gerald Ko's My Secret (Actual singer: GEM), this song has been playing repeat n repeating during my holidays, though still can't figure out what's d lyrics about, but still, who cares if the song nice, isn't it? Ok, if u wondering y m still here n not sleeping, well, 1) M waiting hot water to boil for my local mee cup 2) I can't sleep (shhhhhhhhhhhh!) M coming back tomorrow, damn, in fact, I went out to find a cafe to online just now, but guess I wasn't in luck, d cafe closed early. *headbang* I can't sleep!!! How ahhhhh :/ Is this what we call, the excitement that caused u can't sleep? LOL Ok, wanna get my mee cup now, btw, during my days here, I got lotsa compliments: 1) you looked so

st@rt>> The sun totally burning my skin just like roasted pig, Just couldn't recall how many times I applied sun block! m not Ang moh, so I don't need sun tan! LOL nah, some pics for u guys, doesn't wanna talk much anyway, haha end

start>> ok, quick one before I leave the miserable world. It's gonna be a great days for me this week. Can't wait to reach the beach! I'm still on plane, still manage to get some updates posted up. some pictures before leaving...

st@rt>> end

st@rt>> YES, the evil in me getting stronger, where is all the angels? come back come back, I need you guys!!!   end

st@rt>> Ppl never stop asking, NEVER So, I will just stop ANSWERING Silence is golden right? But I just cant stop myself from telling ppl what had happened, I cant stop to defend myself, bcz once you keep quiet, you will hurt even more But if I never react perhaps, things will get better? I dont know ;( This axxhole man totally behaving like a menopause women because "s+he" just cant stop himself bla bla here bla bla there, walao! Arghhhhh, nvm, it's easy to handle this man, he just need some sugar/sweets to lick on. I will give him a tonne lorry of sweets end

st@rt>> She really meant it, she was really sorry for what had happened. And as at today, she do feel sorry *again* Actually, I feel bad myself too, ermmm, but I think things happen for a reason right? At least, this had taught me, getting know, who is good who is bad, at least I know she is the good one :) Because: 1) She feels sorry 2) She dont know how to tell me how sorry she was 3) She being honest, telling me how she feels 4) And, she afraid I will get unhappy again But still, I think I was d one who should say sorry to her, today supposing to be her happy SATURDAY but because of this issue, she being :( Ok, no more sorry here n there, should stop it for now. Everyone, please get yourself happy back. I want you guys to HAPPY! SMILE! This is so not you, when you get :(, so turn the other way round, and get :) Why? You failed to get :) back? Look at these end